I don't care if it rains or freezes...

Even though this blog gets almost no updates and very little traffic I'm keeping it alive (and upgrading it no doubt).  I think it's good for me to wrestle with getting some "theological thinking" down in bits and bytes.  The new home is on a different server, and is also using the latest and greatest MoveableType.  In the transition I lost my style templates (not that they were all that interesting) and the site is also no long wide open for posting.  Anyone can register to make comments on my postings, and if you want to write your own post just drop me an e-mail aharbick AT aharbick DOT com.

Watch for some postings about NT Wright's latest book "Simply Christian" and an emerging church book "Listening to the Beliefs of the Emerging Church" with chapters by Karen Ward (Church of the Apostles in Seattle), Dan Kimball (Vintage Faith Church in Santa Cruz), Doug Padgitt (Solomon's Porch in Minneapolis), Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill in Seattle) and John Burke (Gateway Church in Austin).

This is very interesting. The reason I'm here is because I googled "I don't care if it rains or freezes." I'm not sure yet what I found. It looks like somebodies blog maybe? Entries seem to be about church, maybe even presbyterian sort-of leaning type church...I read something about "Long" and "Calvin." Hey, I remember those guys from seminary. Hmmmmm. Maybe this is a site I can do something with, between abundancetrek.com, easumbandy.com, and the pc(usa) site. Oh, don't forget my own...I go there once and a while to see if it's still there...a one page yahoo almost freebee special with my mission statement on it...adirondackskypilot.com. Anyway, not much e-mail today and ...
I've been honing my skill in singing my version of
"I don't care if it rains or freezes." Just to see if I could remember all them. I wrote em all except the first. I grew up with the first...we sang it in the bus going to soccer games, but for the life of me, I can never remember a single verse of the original other than the first...you know, the one that goes on..."as long as I got my plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car." I wrote all these other verses because I wanted the song to have some verses that I knew...not knowing the original ones.
So, here's my version. If anybody knows the original I'd like to see them. Don't worry, my ego-strength is adequate to have the original verses pointed out to me...I'll always like mine the best.
By the way...these may be offensive to some people. Last time I sang these for anybody it was in a clergy group that included a nun. I asked the nun if they were offensive. She said the one about "smoking dope" was over the top...she was very nice about it. It may be a good thing that that's the first of the verses I wrote, after the first one, of course, that I assume everybody knows from their school days. Here goes...

verse 2: I can smoke all the dope I wanna, long as I got my pink m'donna, ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
An' I kin drink Coor's light or whiskey, long as she makes the ride less risky..ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
verse 3: (By the way, if anybody know the significance of this item, I'd like to know...it's always helpful to know who exactly you're offending.)
I ain't scared of no crash that's gory, long as I got my crown of glory, ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
I don't get no gettin-dead-fear long as I got that jeweled head gear ridin on the dashboard of my car.
verse 4: (movin on now to other parts of the car).
When I see a trooper I don't think twice, long as I got my fuzzy dice ridin on the dashboard of my car.
The po leece can't do me no harm, long as I got my fuzzy luck charm hangin from the mirror of my car.
(By the way, I wrote one to offend American Indians, or more exactly to offend people who wish they were American Indians about a "Dream catcher hangin from the mirrow of the car but it had a clunky rhyme and ..well, I'm still working on it. .so.... verse 5 is...)
5: I don't care if my drivin's legal, long as I got my bouncin beagle ridin on the back deck of my car.
I can drive when my eyes are droopy, long as I got my bobin snoopy ridin on the back deck of my car.
6: An I can drive with my foot to the mat long as I got that famous fat cat suction cupped to the windows of my car.
An I can stray-ton the curves to a bee-line long as I got that obese feline suction cupped to the windows of my car.
(since seven is the religious number signifying completion and perfection maybe this is where it oughta end anyway...never mind offending the dream-catcher crowd).
Verse 7: Here I lay in a hospital bed, two broken legs and a cracked open head from a semi that crashed through the dashboard of my car.
Guess my lucky charms ain't workin, long as there's eighteen wheelers lurkin' ready to crash through the dashboard of my car.
*
* Well, that's it. I'd still like to know if anybody knows all the verses to the origianl song...maybe it's one of those songs that have hundreds of verses and NOBODY knows all of em.
Lurkin' no longer, Mark adirondackskypilot.com

Andy,

I've enjoyed reading your thoughts. Like you, I must admit what I will call "frustrations" with our (or even, the) church. I often like to compare what happens to the church that my family and I used to go to. Often, I think Cov has good teaching, but I think that Cov is too focused on the head and not on the heart. I wrote pages and pages in my journal about this and sometime when I have my journal with me, perhaps I will post some more of my thoughts. There seems to be a focus on programs and Calvinism, "the original Greek text" and the Westminster Confession. These are all good things, but sometimes they receive too much emphasis. I think there needs to be more emphasis on relationship. I like how you described the quick meet and greet time as a joke. It really is. How many relationships are developed out of that? I am sure few if any. Usually, it is a struggle to recall a person's name after meeting them. I remember at my old church (here I go again) how I was a complete stranger in a town who knew no one. A man at the church took notice of me, but he didn't do the usual, "Hello." He actually listened to my answers and asked curiously about who I was and answered my questions. He sought me out Sunday after Sunday, even taking me with him to meet others in the church and developing friendship with them. Eventually, I joined this man in the choir and eventually joined the Bible study he and his wife led. At that Bible study (and in choir), I met many others, including the couple who introduced me to my wife. Because one man thought about having a heart towards me, I was eternally impacted. At Cov, this does not seem to happen. Maybe I'm part of the problem. Granted, I have learned that at churches that are large like Cov, when I am a newcomer, I have to reach out as much as I expect others to reach to me. I am not there to be reached to, necessarily, as that could become a self-centered perspective. There are challenges at Cov -- size, some of the items you mentioned, and the lack of "heart." And on top of that, sometimes Cov seems like it has an underlying popularity contest that is a carry-over from school years. This creates cliques. My temptation is to get plugged in and assimilated into a clique (go Borg!). Getting plugged in is a good thing, but may I never forget what it is like to be new. May I remember and out of that remembrance, reach out to those who are new or unpopular. My desire is to be as that man at my old church, to take notice, to take time, to have a heart, and reach to the heart when it seems that the heart is often ignored currently. I am trying to beat this drum even to leaders while hoping I don't fall into the hypocrisy of "no heart" when I have enough hypocrisies in and of myself already. Just my own thoughts (and passions).

--Jamie

One more thing... I'm participating in a golf marathon to support Young Life. If you'd like to learn about the event and support me you can do on my "thon" page on givemeaning.com

Andy

Thanks Duayne for your comments in response to my post about Worship. It feels very good that you so thoughtfully responded to my post!

I think your point:

As far as making church interesting to the average American - even Christian American - in the digital, mocha-cheno 24-7 "stimulate me" society, I'm not sure, other than to say that worship is something we DO rather than WATCH. It should also be multi-sensory as much as possible.

is a great one. I'm not looking for a movie. I think your thoughts about Worship being "multi-sensory" are at the heart of my concern. My church now aims at the mind often missing the heart much less the "lesser senses" like smell, taste, etc. There is also a lot less participation. We do have singing, and sometimes we do group confession or recitation of catechisms, but most of the time it's about listening.

The church that we went to in Seattle was much more liturgical which made the service more participatory. The mere fact alone that we did corporate and private confession EVERY week was often enough to pull me in. We also did communinion EVERY week and it was always "come foreward" communion. You were much more part of the community when you came forward with everyone else. Truth be told, the moment that I decided to bring my family to that church was when I learned that they used REAL wine for communion. The experience for me was so different. Real wine communicates bitter, sad, somber and at the same time happiness and celebration. Grapejuice as is typical is like candy and gets the emotions wrong. That small sensory change transformed communion for me. I totally GET what you're saying.

I'm also curious about the Catholic and Orthodox traditions. I don't know anything by experience (except for the few Catholic funerals that I've been to). My social circle has MANY Catholics in it currently, but I haven't taken that opportunity to explore their practice of faith yet. I also have a good friend who is somewhat of an expert in Liturgy and he mentioned the Orthodox church in an e-mail. He related a similar message to what you said. He also noted how children, even the very young, seem far more engaged/interested. That said, I currently live in a much smaller area so the only option I would have to experience that tradition is a Russian Orthodox church and I imagine that would be tricky ;) Thanks again for your thoughts.

Andy

Here's my theological question of the day. What is the biblical basis for the current structure of worship in most churches? i.e. we sing, we pray, we sing a bit more, we listen to a LONG sermon, we sing, we hear a bendiction, we go home. It was just me and the boys at church on Sunday (Shiree went with Brody to visit her mom for her birthday) and I STRUGGLED to keep the boys under control. The entire time they were "bored" or "too hot" or they'd ask "when is church over?" etc. We tried to play hangman, or draw pictures, and I tried to pull in the church service whenever I could, but it just wasn't working. Towards the end I realized that I WAS BORED too. I mean, church IS boring. I got very little from the sermon... something from 4 verses in Nehemiah where the only thing I remember is that there were two groups of people that responded in two ways, but I don't recall why that was important. I didn't want to be there either and yet I had to convince my boys to be there, something that is very difficult for my personality to do (convince someone to do something you don't want to do yourself). So I was thinking... How could it be different and I came up with:

1. More variety in the music, or make it more interesting. My previous church, Green Lake had interesting music. Mars Hill, another church that I went too on occasion in Seattle, CERTAINLY had interesting music. Our church has interesting music when we let ourself be a bit indigenous and we show off a bluegrass side or when we gather with the latinos and have latin-style music, but most of the time it's pretty boring overplayed choruses or unispired singing of traditional hymns.
2. SHORTER SERMONS! I haven't heard a sermon in a long time that couldn't be preached just as well in 15 minutes as it was in 45.
3. Sermons that emphasize the whole story that explains our condition, God's goodness, His redemptive purposes, and our commissioning to participate in the healing of the world. Mark said it well "We don't read The Chronicles of Narnia to our children one page at a time. Why do we study the bible 3 verses at a time?"
4. More time for fellowship. The 30-second "stand up and greet your neighbors" is a joke. Sure most churches offer small groups, or Sunday school but why not devote some Sundays to fellowship? Do some singing, break into smaller groups, pray together, have coffee and pastries or maybe even full on breakfasts. Meet a little later and make it a point to bring friends and neighbors for a time of singing, refreshment, and fun. Is that not worship?
5. Service. How about we dedicate some Sundays to serving in the community. Perhaps we're supposed to do this during the week, and that the purpose of church on Sunday isn't service.

To be fair, I'm aware that my heart needs work, and that I may not have been in the right worship mood that day. Nonetheless, I do think this needs thinking about otherwise our response to people like me is always "look at your own sin/heart/condition" (it's your fault) and I don't think that's universally true either.

Andy

Bono speaks at the national prayer breakfast. Thanks to Mark